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  • Writer's pictureHugh Jass

Mondays Changes Name To Match Whatever Day Of The Week It Is.




Mondays, the bar located on 523 State St. known for getting young adults “blacked-out” under the notion that it is Christmas every day (by leaving their shiny lights up for the entire year), has recently decided to change their name to match whatever day of the week it is. We interviewed one of their managers to find out what inspired the decision, which we quickly discovered was done to make up for a budget deficit after over-purchasing New Amsterdam’s Pink Whitney: “I thought it would be cool cause it’s pink. But it fucking sucks. We now have to buy most of our booze from the fire sale section of Riley’s, although no one has seemed to notice. Sometimes we put hand sanitizer in our drinks to make sure they're extra strong” he said with a grin. To gather funds to pay for the multiple new signs they will need, as well as a full-time sign changer, Monday’s has also announced that the patio will be available to rent out: “Birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, anything really. I even know a guy who owns a petting zoo so maybe we could do something like that. We were also thinking about trying out some sort of day-care service, so parents can smoke heaters and pound mind erasers without hiring a babysitter.” All in all, it's safe to say this grab-for-cash is sure to be a success.


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