On Monday, October 1st, the world renowned Chipotle located on 658 State St was awarded the Pritzker Architecture Prize for the implementation of its huge metal beam planted right in the middle of the burrito assembly line. Architect Shareef Bynat explained that the idea came to him in a nightmare, and that he thought it would be a hilarious prank to place it right before the salsa section: “The unnecessary metal grate on the front ads a new level of “fuck you” to the customer,” he explained. We interviewed a burrito-bowl buyer shortly after purchasing his food, who shared his affection for the pillar: “It’s awesome! I love awkwardly looking from each side of the beam to talk to the employee, especially when I have to explain that my burrito got mixed up with someone else's in the super chill and not busy environment.” Virgil Abloh, who used to frequent the Chipotle as an undergrad before receiving a degree in architecture, spoke highly of Bynatt and his groundbreaking work: “I love that place, but you can bet your ass that I will never talk about attending UW Madison in any interview I ever do. It’s my biggest secret.” Some students speculate that the pillar is actually a blockade used to cover up a poster that urges employees to force customers to buy queso: “I feel bad enough for the chumps who buy the cauliflower rice, I hate having to ask customers if they want an artery-clogging cheese blanket over their bowl” said an anonymous employee.
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