Bab(cock) Hall Ice Cream Reveals Special Ingredient

Babcock Hall has announced a new summer flavor to be released mid-July 2020: "Triple Choco-Taco Pizza Fun Time." With the new, highly anticipated ice cream hitting shelves soon, many are wondering: what makes their frozen treats so delectable? After many failed attempts to contact Babcock Hall, we decided to send Bunion writer Hugh Jass to the ice cream conglomerate's barn on the West Side of campus. Upon peering through the crusty, spider-infested windows, Jass noticed one key distinction that differentiated their cows from any other he had seen: They were all missing their Penises…